To Be A Hero

This is another piece of coursework I did for my first year at Uni, with a word limit of 2,000 words.

To be a Hero

I pressed my hand against my mouth, eyes locking with Leu’s as she tried to hold in her laughter. We heard the door close and she creased violently at the waist with stifled snorts.

'Shit Leu, who were those guys?' I asked, keeping my voice low.

 She put her hands up in surrender, 'I swear it's not my fault this time, I barely even talked to them... Maybe they just wanted to ask the time.'

 'Yeah right.'

Leu went quiet, fingering the ends of her hair, and glanced at the closed cubicle door.

I reached my hand out for the lock, 'You think they're still waiting outside?'

She shrugged, looking away, 'Maybe'.

I opened the door and slid slowly out, Leu following. She caught my attention, pointing at a small window above the sinks.

'Think we can fit through that? It'll open wider if we cut the safety cord, right?'

'Let's try it,' I said, fishing out my pocket knife.

Leu clambered up onto the sink with my knife and hacked away at the safety cord. When she was finished, she pocketed the knife, grinned at me, and pushed herself legs first through the thin opening. I followed her through, reminded with a smile of all the other times we’d climbed out of windows together. Only a week ago, Leu had jumped on the chance to retell one of her favourite tales.

* * *

'… but I got stuck halfway through the window, and Jay had to pull me out by my legs! I don't know how my parents slept through all the noise we made,' Leu finished,flushed with the delight of an entertainer. Somehow, her stories always sounded so much more exciting than I remembered them being.

'Everything always happens to you, Leu,’ one of our friends had said. ‘How do you even get into these situations?'

Leu knocked back her drink. 'Jay was there too.'

'Yeah,’ I said, ‘but you were the main culprit - you usually are. I'm just the Robin to your Batman,'

'As if! You'd make a way better Batman. You've got the voice for it and everything.'

I straightened my face, coughing ceremoniously,then announced in a deep, gravelly voice, 'I am Vengeance. I am the Night. I am Batman!'

‘Definitely a better Batman!’ Leu laughed and got to her feet, using my shoulder to push herself up, ‘Anyone else want another drink?’ she asked. No one replied –

‘Just me then!’

Leu fumbled with the stopper on the bottle. I couldn’t fault her party spirit.

It wasn’t long after everyone left that Leu sent out the Bat-signal, and I found myself holding her hair back while she pushed her fingers down her throat, puking. Damp heat twisted up from her body, and her neck shone with a layer of sweat. She heaved again, but this time only a dribble of liquid came out, hanging limply from her lips over the sink. She spat, then reached for the tap and watched the water push her sick down the drain.

She dropped slowly to the floor, back pressed against the cabinet. ‘It’s so cold.’ Her teeth clattered against each other, loud in the empty room. She didn’t look like she was going to move, so I grabbed a blanket from the living room and brought it back, letting her wrap it tightly around herself. I lowered myself down beside her. She smelt sour. I stayed anyway, and we sat like that for a while, resting in silence.

‘Jay?’

‘Yeah?’

‘You remember when I said you’d make a good Batman?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well, I meant it,’ she said, letting out a deep breath. It was acrid and I tried not to wince.

‘I think I’d need a lot more money for that,’ I said.

‘No,’ she smiled, ‘I meant you’re always there when I need you. Swooping down to save me whenever things get difficult, always stopping me from doing stupid stuff.’

I’d known what she’d meant, I just couldn’t form the words to agree. ‘I didn’t stop you tonight,’ I said.

‘No,’ she said, ‘But even Batman couldn’t save me every time.’

‘If you say so.’

‘Stop trying to appease me. I’m trying to tell you I appreciate you. You don’t get enough credit.’

It was my turn to laugh, ‘Thanks, I wouldn’t do it for anyone else.’

‘Liar,’ she said.

I had wanted to tell her she was wrong, but I stood up and poured her a cup of water instead, pushing it into her hands. She drank it, then closed her eyes. I turned my attention to clearing away the discarded drinks and empty packets. After half an hour, she’d swapped to the sofa. I stopped cleaning and left for my own bed. No need for Batman anymore, I thought and snorted. As if I could ever be a hero.

* * *

Later, looking back at that party, I’d wonder whether I should have seen it coming. Whether Leu had ever seen it coming. It's hard to think of an answer; in retrospect it all seemed so inevitable, from the moment I gave her my knife to cut the safety cord.

I dropped down from the bathroom window, my knees crumpling when they hit the ground.

Leu tugged at my shoulder, ‘Come on! I think I can hear those guys!’

I let her pull me up and we broke into a run, Leu ahead of me, braids fluttering out behind her. We ran until the pavement beneath our feet went dark, no longer illuminated by the light of the pub or the street lamps. I was the first to stop; I scanned the darkness behind us. There wasn’t any movement. I hadn’t really thought they’d bother chasing after us. Still, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. It wasn’t anywhere near sunrise, but there were enough trees bordering the road that I could hear birdsong anyway.

I turned back to Leu, who was laughing like a maniac, or I suppose, like herself really. She stepped off the pavement and into the road, whirling around with her arms outspread, claiming her territory. Part of me wanted to join her – to feel the same exhilaration she felt – but my knees were sore where they’d hit the floor, and my stomach ached with the sharp pain of a stitch. I sat down on the side of the pavement instead.

‘I hate to tell you this, but you make a pretty awful helicopter, Leu,’ I called out.

Leu tried to say something back, but lost her balance halfway, and thumped down onto the ground with a yelp. I heckled her from my seat on the sidewalk, until she came over to sit beside me.

‘Don’t worry Leu; one day you’ll find what you were destined for. It’s just not going to be arm-powered helicoptering,’ I said.

Leu huffed and leaned back on her hands to stare up at the sky, ’Everyone keeps telling me I’ll work it out. I haven’t found it very helpful.’

I followed her gaze up to the sky, where the stars were blinking in and out of sight as clouds drifted over them. ‘Yeah, you probably already knew.’

‘Knew what?’

‘That you aren’t really a helicopter.’

‘I hate you.’

‘And yet here you are sitting with me,’ I drew in a breath, tasting the countryside on my tongue. ‘I’m sure it’ll come to you though, what you want to do. You’ve got your year of travelling to figure it out.’

‘One year… It doesn’t feel like much at all,’ she said. She stood up and held out her hand to me, her smile returning, ‘Let’s go to the river, see what new junk’s been thrown in.’

We followed the road, past where the pavement ran out, the sound of our chatter flitting away across the fields surrounding us. Occasionally our conversation would lull, replaced with the sleepless hush of the bushes and trees, and Leu’s humming. Eventually, the road rose up in a steep hump, reaching across the dark gap of the river. This was the bridge. A few years ago, local volunteers had cleared it of debris, but not since then. In the daylight, you could see the broken bottles and cans protruding from the bed. I doubted we’d be able to see them now. Leu skipped gleefully toward the metal railing running along the bridge’s edge, hoisting herself up to bend over it and squint at the water below.

‘Don’t lean too far over Leu, we’ve already established you can’t fly,’ I said nervously, as she tilted forward.

‘Yeah yeah, I’m not completely stupid,’ she said and leant back a little to reassure me.

‘You wanna play Pooh Sticks?’ I asked, already hunting for twigs on the other side of the bridge.

‘Or… I could try and climb on top of the rail and you catch me if I fall?’ Leu grinned wickedly at me, eyes crinkling with satisfaction at the look I shot her.

‘Don’t you dare. If you hurt yourself, I’m not carrying you back home.’

I turned my back on her, half-listening as she listed off all the debris she could make out in the channel below. The first two twigs I picked up were slick with damp, and I quickly dropped them back down, wiping the slime off my hands. I found the first good stick on my third try, just as Leu’s list finally ended and she fell quiet for a moment.

Then I heard her swear. ‘Shit.’

I looked over. She was stretching for something on the other side of the railing, arm straining to touch it. ‘What is it?’ I asked, putting the stick down.

‘Your knife. It fell out of my pocket when I bent over. It’s fine though, it’s caught on that bit of arch that sticks out, I think I can reach it if I just-’ she shifted her weight further over the rails to give herself better access. Her body was shaking slightly with the strain, her face twisting into a grimace as she reached further.

‘Leu, wait - let me help you!’ I called out as her feet lifted from the railing, but she didn’t listen, tilting even further forward. She was so close, fingers brushing against the knife’s smooth casing.

‘Leu stop!’ I cried, running across the road in panic, my arms outstretched, ready to grab her legs, as she began to pitch headfirst toward the river below.

Then headlights burst over the bridge, burning against the side of my face, the car hurtling toward me, tyres shrieking as it tried to brake. But it was going far too fast, and it crashed into me with a thudding crack, my body twisting fiercely as it was flung to the side. I felt the bone of my elbow break as it hit the ground, and the burn of my skin ripping as my thigh scraped across the tarmac. With the pain came a flash of heat, of angry disbelief at all the times that Leu had pushed fate and got away with it. I’m not sure whether I screamed or not; I definitely cried. Leu did too, even after I’d stopped, tears flushing the heat from my body.

Most of my memories of the ambulance ride to the hospital are hazy - from the shock or the Entonox I’m not sure – but I remember a few moments with startling clarity. When Leu started yelling furiously at the driver to call an ambulance; when the nausea hit from the gas they gave me for the pain; and when Leu was holding my hand, before the ambulance came, sobbing. Saying that it wasn’t fair that I’d been hurt when she was the one doing something stupid, when she was always the one doing something stupid.

I wanted to tell her that it was okay, because I was never Batman anyway. I was fine just being Robin, even if it got me hurt. I wanted to say that, but I was in too much pain.

Commentary:

Previously,into using rich language and themes that operate on multiple levels. With this story, I wanted to make it more enjoyable than impressive,partly for my brother. My brother is dyslexic and has struggled to get into my writing sometimes, when it’s played with less common vocabulary and more fantastical ideas.He has read and really enjoyed this, so mission accomplished there.

The story was originally based around the idea that some people are happier being a side character than a main character –myself included. Originally, Leu was meant to be more obviously the ‘main’ character, but in the end the narrative was more immersive if it focused on Jay’s viewpoint. I did still want to keep the tensions between their roles though;in the disconnect between Leu’s unpleasant puking and Jay’s care of her, in setting up Leu for the accident instead of Jay,and through to the end where Jay wants to speak his mind but cannot.

On an more silly note, the names of the characters are little Easter egg references (more for myself than anyone else).
Jay is a reference to the very first Robin, Jason Todd, and also a bird as well - I'm quite proud of how well it fits.
Leu is short for Leutogi, the Polynesian goddess of bats. Technically, she's a kind of Batwoman, and the goddess part definitely fits her 'main' character energy. It's also a name I'm fond of, because it's the name of a bat plush that my brother bought me a few years back (he has a matching demon).